Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize