I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
