She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
