Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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