And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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