i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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