new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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