Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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