...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
