so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
