I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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