the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
