I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
