He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
