3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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