Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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