whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
