What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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