good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
