Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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