i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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