That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
