jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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