my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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