So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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