I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
