You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
