That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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