I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
