bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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