i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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