I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize