The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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