So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
