Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My dick has a subreddit
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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