Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
