I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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