There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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