No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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