how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
