sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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