i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
