i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize