didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
