I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
