we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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