so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
