i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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