shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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