after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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