we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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