i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
