Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
