I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
