the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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