Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
