i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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