I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
