I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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