You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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