He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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