im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize