Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
